tooting your own horn

Accolades. Awards. Competitions. Medals.

Why do we love that shit so much? Or do you not? Are you competitive? I am competitive in some things, but not others.

My husband, Jon, and I trained for a marathon that we completed on November 10th. During our training, there were definitely days where I DID NOT want to run. I was tired, or it was cold, or raining or blah blah blah. But Jon was like “okay, I’m off for my run” and I’m like…..”Well fuck. Now I HAVE to do it.” We actually originally started this whole “training” thing for just a half marathon, and then once that half was done in September, Jon pointed out that we most likely will never be in better running shape than we are now, so we might as well keep training and do the full marathon in November. I went back and forth with doing it and he said that I didn’t have to, but he was going to…….so when he said that…….it meant there was no way in hell I was going to allow him to finish a marathon without me. He beat me by 9 mins and I could care less about that. We finished it together, we trained together, and now we both have those beautiful medals, hanging on our dresser……to most likely collect dust, but they are great reminders of what we accomplished. Now we’ll most likely move on to triathlons and whatnot…..we’re true gluttons for punishment.

I don’t like to toot my own horn that much. It makes me feel weird. It’s like putting a spotlight on myself while wearing a vest with flashing red lights and screaming on a podium “LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK HOW AWESOME I AM!” But I never feel that way about other people when they talk about their accomplishments. I feel proud of them. I admire them. I talk to others about their accomplishments so that they get even MORE praise.

When people tell me they love their photos, or they saw a photo I took and it stuck with them, I feel the same “weirdness” and immediately bring attention to my amazing clients who allowed me to photograph them, or speak of how easy they were to photograph or how incredible their family was. It’s never about my “eye” or technique or the thousands of hours I’ve put into education or training. I’m 41 and I can’t take a compliment to save my life.

BUT, I decided to put my awkwardness aside and enter a few photography competitions this year. The first is Birth Photographer of the Year put on by the amazing Lacey Baratt and her business Exposing Birth. Lacey compiles 28 esteemed judges from around the world who are all in the birth world and/or are incredible photographers. These judges rotate throughout the live judging, so that only 5 are judging at once, which gives the judges in different parts of the world, time to sleep (time zones and whatnot). Does that make sense?

ANYWAY!

They judge you on:

1. Impact
2. Creativity & Style
3. Composition
4. Centre of Interest
5. Lighting
6. Colour Balance
7. Technical excellence
8. Photographic Technique
9. Story Telling & Subject Matter

They score you as follows:

• >69 Approaching Professional Standard

• 70-77 Professional Practice (not an award)

• 78-79 Commended (not an award)

• 80-84 Silver (award)

• 85-89 Silver Distinction (award)

• 90-94- Gold (award)

• 95-100 Gold Distinction (award)

SARAH, GET TO THE POINT!

Sorry….yes yes….I just wanted to give you a sense of the process.

And look at that!  I got Top 20 of photographers!  

I submitted 5 images. One got gold, two got silver, one “commended professional practice” and the 5th, professional practice. This was my first time submitting birth images to any competition and I’m pretty damn proud of myself. I learned A LOT from the process and took in the feedback that the judges gave and was astonished by the other images that I was surrounded by. This community of birth photographers are hardcore. We are on-call, waiting with baited breath for the phone to ring, letting us know that you’re in labor. We plan vacations and events around your due dates. And we show up! Not only do we show up….we get to create really cool art.

So….in the past week, not only is your girl a marathoner…..but I’m also an award winning photographer. Fuck yah! Toot Toot!

I submitted to a few other awards as well, but those results won’t come until the beginning of next year.

It’s really hard to see your work through other people’s eyes when you’re just “in it” and can’t see it for what it is. Seeing the flaws, the imperfections, saying to yourself “what if”….what if I moved slightly this way, what if I used my flash in a different way, what if I adjusting my settings ever so slightly to enhance the image in a different way. But damn….in that moment, you just go with your training, your education, your instincts, and your love for what you do and click click click click…..and know that not everything is in your control. Pretty damn good metaphor for life.

These awards are not life changing. They won’t boost me into “stardom” or “success”…..whatever those things actually are. But they do let me know I’m on the right path.

I have felt extremely lost in the last many weeks, or couple of months. I have lofty goals and things I want to do in life, with my business, with my kids….etc. But sometimes it’s super hard to just do the little things each day to get to be the person I want to be a year from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now. Lots of wasted time on social media “doom scrolling,” comparing myself, my life, my work, to other’s. Not being fully immersed in MY days and definitely not doing the little things that lead to the big picture and lead to change.

So! I am tooting my little horn today! I am wishing my amazing husband a happy birthday on social media today….but I think I need a break. Time to stop showing the world (i.e. Facebook and Instagram) who I want to “be” and time to start “doing.”

John Boyd, who was an air force fighter pilot said: “To be somebody or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That's when you will have to make a decision. To be or to do? Which way will you go?”

Toot Toot!